


The Absence of You and Me

by orphan_account



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 15:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4025995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A trouble causes Nathan to become a child. An exploration of Duke and Nathan's friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Absence of You and Me

**Author's Note:**

> References to Season 1's 'Ball and Chain', and 'Spiral'.
> 
> Timeline: set during season 3
> 
> Your thoughts or impressions would be very kindly welcomed.

The Absence of You and Me

by Soul Lantern

"We're handling this ourselves," Nathan said, pulling on his jacket and striding out of the station.

Duke followed him down the hill, indignant. "Excuse me, who was the one who realised that the Hunter was actually a meteor storm? Oh that's right, it was me. And who was it who found out that Sarah and Lucy both disappeared on the night of said meteor storm? Ladies and Gentleman, fingers on the buzzer - yes, it was me, again. So don't tell me to run along and play whilst mommy and daddy -"

Nathan turned round so abruptly that Duke almost ran into him. "Audrey's the most important thing that's ever happened to me. And I don't trust you not to screw this up."

He laughed in surprise. "You're serious. You're serious?"

Nathan ignored him and got his keys out to unlock his truck.

He shook his head, looking back at the station. "You know what, fine. If you'd rather let your feelings about me get in the way of helping Audrey, be my guest. But you know what, Nathan? You're not the only one who cares about her - " the sound of keys falling on the ground made him turn back.

"What the hell..." And blinked. And blinked again. At first he couldn't quite process what he was seeing.

There, standing where Nathan had stood only seconds before, was a small child, smothered in the too-large clothes that Nathan had also been wearing.

He knelt down next to the child. The boy. He seemed to be about two years old, maybe three tops. "Hey." The kid did not acknowledge him but kept staring right ahead, like a rabbit caught in headlights.

They'd known each other since elementary school, and it was like looking back in time into the face of his five-year-old classmate, albeit minus a couple years. "Nathan?" He touched the kid's shoulder and the kid flinched.

He stood up, running a hand over his face, looking up and down the road for help. No one was around except for old ma Hibbert pulling her floral shopping cart up the hill.

"This is crazy. This is insane." He took a deep breath. "Okay. Time to get my zen on."

He crouched down again. "Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to take you to the station, and we'll find Audrey, and she'll fix this. Because this is a trouble, and it is very troubling. I am genuinely troubled."

There was no response from the kid – from _Nathan_ , so he gathered him up in his arms as best he could, oversized clothes and all, scooping up the keys as he did so. Nathan leant away from him, rigid in his grip. "Still got those personal space issues I see", Duke said, more to help himself keep a handle on the situation than anything. "Okay, let's give Auntie Audrey a call." He hit the speed dial as he walked. "Come on, Audrey, come on..." She wasn't picking up. "Well, that's just great."

He stopped at the front desk. "Mike, is Audrey around?"

The desk sergeant had just taken a bite out of his burrito. "Hey, cute kid," he said with his mouth full, "that a nephew?"

"Nephew..." Duke looked down at the child in his arms. "Why, yes. This is my nephew." For some reason he felt like preserving Nathan's – adult Nathan's – dignity; he doubted Nathan would want the whole police station to catch sight of their boss as a pre-schooler.

"You might want to get him some decent clothes."

He faked a smile. "Yeah. He had an accident - chocolate milkshake everywhere, it was horrible."

"Kids." Mike smiled indulgently at Nathan, who turned away.

"Yeah. So, Audrey?"

"Haven't seen her. You could try lost property."

"Audrey's in lost property?"

"No, there's some spare clothes in there. Down the hall." He gestured with his burrito." You might get lucky."

"Lucky. Right. Listen, can you let Audrey know I was looking for her?"

"Sure thing."

He headed down the hallway with Nathan in tow, tugging the shirt up where it had slipped down. Lost property wasn't such a bad idea. He pushed open the doors and nearly collided with Laverne.

"Laverne, hey, you seen Audrey around?"

"She's out on a case." She smiled then at Nathan. "Cute kid you got there. Hey sugar." She reached out to him but Nathan stiffened and she withdrew her hand.

"Yeah, he's my nephew. Listen, do me a favour, would you? Give her a call, tell her to call me back asap?"

Laverne frowned. "I aint your personal secretary, Duke."

"I know, but trust me on this, it's police business, okay? Cop stuff. I promise." He started making tracks before she could protest any more. "Thanks Laverne," he called over his shoulder. He shifted Nathan in his arms. "I should not be on first name terms with people in this place."

0 = 0 = 0 = 0 = 0

Lost property was a pile of crap. Literally. Duke looked at the pile in front of him and wrinkled his nose in disdain. "You owe me big time for this," he told Nathan, sitting him on the edge of the table. He then started rifling through the clothes, trying to find something that would fit Nathan – or at least, fit him better than the clothes the kid was currently wearing.

"Too big...too smelly...not sure what the hell that is..." and then - "Jackpot." He held up a child size T-shirt, extra-small. "Heigh ho Sea Dogs." The kid didn't respond.

He also managed to find some shorts but gave up on socks and shoes – Nathan would have to go barefoot. "Okay," he said, lifting the kid up so he was standing on the table, "let's get you GQ'd up." He pulled the too-large shirt over Nathan's arms and head and then –

Then his words got stuck in his throat.

The Chief had hinted about the kind of life Nathan had lived with Max Hansen, and now the evidence of it was right here in front of Duke's eyes.

To his consternation he realised the kid had started crying, silently. And he'd wet himself. The kid's terror somehow pierced through the white-hot mist of Duke's fury and brought him back to himself. He ducked down to look into Nathan's eyes.

"I am not going to hurt you," he said, slowly, calmly, though his insides felt cold and sick. "I'm here to help you. You can trust me. First we'll get you cleaned up, and then we'll get your clothes on, okay? But I won't hurt you. You're safe with me."

0 = 0 = 0 = 0 = 0

By the time he'd got the kid sorted and dressed in some age-appropriate clothing, he was feeling more composed. "Okay. Let's go see if Auntie Audrey's here." The kid didn't say anything, but on the plus side, he was looking less freaked.

Mike was still at his desk, simultaneously tucking into a bag of donuts whilst on the phone. "Huh, they really do eat that stuff," Duke observed. "Audrey?" he mouthed to Mike. The cop shook his head.

Duke stood there and thought for a moment, before he became aware of the kid touching the whistle he wore occasionally round his neck. "You like my necklace, buddy?" he said, not really expecting an answer. But he was surprised when Nathan actually replied.

"I like the metal bit."

"Yeah? Well,that's called a whistle."

The kid graced him with a smile, and, just like the adult Nathan, it lit up his whole face. "That's not a whistle."

"It's cause it's old, so it looks funny. It belonged to my dad, and before that it belonged to _his_ dad."

Mike made a shooing motion at them with his doughnut. "Just a sec," Duke mouthed. Transferring Nathan to his right arm, he scribbled a note and passed it to Mike, telling Audrey where they'd be.

"Okay, let's get some breakfast. You hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Well that's great, because I'm famished. And I know just where to go."

0 = 0 = 0 = 0 = 0

The Pancake House was experiencing its usual morning rush, so he and Nathan waited patiently in line. His dad had brought him here once. Just the once.

"What's your favourite pancake flavour?"

The kid smiled shyly. "I don't know."

"You don't know? Well, we'll just have to order one of everything then."

The redhead in the queue next to them smiled at him. "How old is he?"

"Good question." He jiggled Nathan. "How old are you, buddy?" The kid held up ten fingers to show Duke. "Ten?" he said in mock-outrage. "You're not ten."

Red kept smiling at him. "He's pretty cute. Must have his mom's eyes though."

"Oh, I'm not...he's not..." Then it dawned on him that she was hitting on him. Fortunately she got called up to the counter, and he was saved from having to make any kind of cogent reply. "You're pretty good chick bait, you know that?" he told Nathan.

When their order came, complete with a couple of chocolate milkshakes, he swung Nathan onto his shoulders so he could carry the tray. "Hold tight, buddy. Can you see a free table from up there?"

There was a pause, and then - "There's one by the window."

"So there is."

Little hands held fast under his chin, and it was his own daughter he was thinking of as he navigated his way through the busy diner. Jean. She'd be about this age. He shook off the familiar sadness, set the tray down on the table, plucked Nathan from his shoulders and sat him in the chair opposite. The little boy was grinning, looking very pleased, and despite himself, Duke found himself grinning back. "What's so funny, big guy?"

"I saw a man poking his nose."

"Gross!" Duke said, and the kid laughed delightedly at his response. "He wasn't the guy making our pancakes, was he?" That made Nathan laugh even more.

He'd almost forgotten about Audrey, until she showed up half way through their breakfast.

"Hey. Mind if I join you?" She was smiling but her face was tight with concern.

"Hello Audrey," he said. "Pull up a chair." She didn't seem to notice his reserve; she couldn't stop looking at Nathan. For his part, Nathan didn't say anything but moved away from her warily, his eyes fixed on Duke.

"Here, buddy, have some milkshake," he said, pushing the shake towards him. The kid wrapped his hands around it dutifully but didn't touch the straw.

"It was Mrs. Hibbert's trouble," she said, still looking at Nathan. "It took a while to find her, and she was pretty confused. But, everyone else is back to normal now, and she'll change Nathan back too when we take him up there."

Duke nodded. There was nothing to say. He had an obscure urge to scoop the kid up and walk out. To protect him. But there was nothing he could do. It was inevitable. Like it always was.

"Has he been okay?" Audrey asked.

"Yeah, he's been fine."

"Yeah?" She ducked her head to look into the kid's eyes. "You enjoying your pancakes there?"

The kid looked at Duke, as if asking permission to reply. "It's okay," Duke told him. "This is Auntie Audrey. She's a really nice lady," he added, _sotto voce_.

"I had a chocolate pancake and a banana pancake," Nathan told her shyly, as if he was confessing some big secret.

"You did? Well, aren't you lucky." It was obvious that the kid was already responding to Audrey's natural kindness and manner, and so Duke cleared his throat. "I'm gonna take off."

"You're not coming?" she said.

"Nah. You look like you've got things from here." He stood up. "See you later, kid." He was too late to stop himself from seeing Nathan's expression, but he steeled himself against it and left the diner.

0 = 0 = 0 = 0 = 0

The next day

Duke was stacking crates on the boat when a voice behind him said, "Duke."

He turned. "Hey, look who's all grown up."

"Yeah." Nathan was looking distinctly uncomfortable." Audrey said you – uh – 'babysat' me when I was..." he made a 'yay high' gesture with his palm.

"You don't remember?"

Nathan shook his head.

"Well, you didn't do much. If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought you were kind of special" - he knocked on the side of his head - "if you know what I mean." He knew, in some weird Jengian-Freudian hocus pocus way, that he was punishing Nathan for becoming an adult again. For not staying as a kid. For forcing Duke to leave him.

"You don't need to thank me," he continued, "I didn't do anything."

The other man shrugged. "Suits me."

He was about to get back to the crates when, slowly, dream-like, seemingly unaware of what he was doing, Nathan reached out and touched the whistle necklace he was wearing.

He wanted to make some snarky comment to belittle him, but the words got swallowed up. Instead he held himself still whilst Nathan turned the whistle over in his fingers. Then Nathan looked up at him, wonderingly, as if on the brink of understanding, and Duke pulled the whistle away. "Have a nice day, Nate," he said, knowing full well Nathan hated being called that by him. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

And it was his daughter he was thinking of again as he turned his back on Nathan and went back to stacking the crates.

_Finis_


End file.
